Comfort|Malagard, Khelek

[Darastrix]

Lucky she loved me, anyway, Schuldig thought with a twinge of pain. I don't know if she even thinks of me now. But Harmony was at least right on the other count, and he did not want to get drawn into a long conversation about Efil.

~I wouldn't trade you or Filly for anything,~ he told her, kissing her forehead, ~but I don't reccommend getting a husband that way. It's a lot of trouble and I don't think they'd fuck up badly enough to get thrown down here as mortals again.~

At least he hoped not.

[Kender Bard]

Harmony sighed at that, even if she agreed. "When does the hurting stop?" she asked quietly. Although she felt better for her chat with her father, she wasn't happy. She felt like she wouldn't be for a long while either. "I mean... I know you just said you didn't have a heartbreak before, but..." And when she realized all over again that she wouldn't have Libre to spend time with when she was bored or lonely or quarreling with her parents, her stomach clenched with pain at the loss. Libre hadn't just been her love; he'd been her best friend too.

[Darastrix]

"There's other kinds of heartbreak," Schuldig murmured. He wasn't even sure what category his with Efil fit in now. "I can't point to a calender and say 'this is when,' but it gets better faster when you don't try to bury it and pretend it doesn't exist, or dwell on it and act like it's the only thing that exists."

[Kender Bard]

"That wont' be easy," Harmony muttered. Not the repressing part, but it was hard to think of anything else. And it wasn't as if she had a million distractions to indulge in. Each time she pushed a thought away, it bounced right back, revealing some new thought or facet of the fight that gnawed on her mind. "Am I really too childish?"

[Darastrix]

Schuldig sighed. "Kiddo, there's always going to be someone who thinks people like us--people with more Soahcian personalities--are too something. I don't think you're too childish."

[Kender Bard]

Her mouth quirked up at that, comforted. Then again, perhaps he really wasn't the best opinion to ask on the matter.

"Thank you for making me feel better," she murmured. "I think I'd like to just sleep now for a while. Maybe a year or two."

After she ate the pastry of course.

[Darastrix]

I know that feeling.

"All right," Schuldig said. "If you need me again, you know how to reach me." In the meantime, he'd let Filly know what had happened and maybe make a few notes of things to mention to Mikasi next time they met.

[Kender Bard]

Harmony nodded, smiling. Once he'd gone, she settled herself on the bed and let the exhaustion pull her in.

---

She spent the rest of that night mostly sleeping, emerging late for dinner and eating little before going back to sleep. Filly, feeling bad for her daughter, and slipped into Harmony's room after dinner and spent a full hour fussing over her.

The next day, Harmony made herself scarce. She didn't precisely mope but she did indulge in her poor mood and avoid talking or interacting with most people except for her parents. It wasn't until the third day in the morning for breakfast did she seem a little more lively.

She waited until after most everyone had eaten and her father had shown up, but before the vast majority of those gathered left to do their own things for the day. "I have an announcement," she said quietly.

Filly glanced at Harmony uneasily. "What is it dear?"

Harmony looked a little uncomfortable now that she'd garnered some focus, but she pressed on anyway. "I've been thinking a lot the past couple of days and there's something I think I have to do."

"What?" Locket pressed lightly.

"I want to go on a Force quest," Harmony finally said.

[Darastrix]

Nagi's eyes widened over the rim of his teacup and he lowered it to stare at Harmony. "A Force quest?" he repeated.

Crawford merely raised his brows. That Harmony would want to leave, maybe travel a bit, wasn't very surprising to him. There wasn't a great deal to do in Khelek. But a Force quest, when she'd already met two Forces, not counting her own mother? That was surprising.

Schuldig just have Harmony a blank look. "A what, now?"

"What they called spirit quests on Contrasta," Crawford supplied.

Schuldig turned the look on Crawford, who sighed.

"What people do on Force quests vary, but the basic gist is that they travel around, hoping to one day meet a particular Force," Nagi said, setting his cup down with a soft clink.

Schuldig looked at Harmony again. "Now I think I'm more confused. You've met a Force."

~Not to mention you were born to one,~ he added mentally.

[Kender Bard]

"I guess I don't really care about meeting another Force," Harmony admitted. "It's just a goal. Something to do."

Though inwardly she did want to meet one. She wanted to see Efil. She wanted to talk to her. But that was her private goal and she didn't feel like talking about it, especially since it might bring up the question of what she wanted to talk about.

"I don't even expect to see one," she went on. "But I do want to go on a journey."

"You're far too young," Filly protested.

That was not the right choice of words. Harmony's expression flickered between stubbornness and hurt. "I am not too young. Next year I'll be an adult. I'm not going to go anywhere that I know is dangerous and I think I can pick up some odd work here and there if I find the need for it. I can get out of a bind pretty well now. And..." She made a frustrated sound. "We've had this conversation before."

"And not that long ago!"

"I've learned a lot since then."

[Darastrix]

Nagi glanced between mother and daughter and wisely kept his mouth shut. It really wasn't his place to get involved in, and he felt split on the subject in any case.

Crawford remained silent as well, though he was leaning in Harmony's favour. He'd give his opinion if asked, but with the three most temperamental people he knew on the verge of an argument, he was not going to break in unsolicited.

Schuldig frowned and looked down at the steaming bowl of half-eaten porridge in front of him, stirring it with a thick slice of crisp bacon. Harmony wanted to leave...leave them? No, he corrected himself. They hadn't fought lately, and after her fight with Libre.... No, it wasn't anything to do with them. And he didn't want it to be.

~She's a double Mind now, Filly,~ Schuldig sent. ~And that thing with her wanting to run off with the faeries was, what?, three years ago? That was a while ago.~

"Kiddo, has this got something to do with wondering if you're too childish?" he asked. "Need to figure things out without us around all the time taking care of things?"

[Kender Bard]

"Something like that," Harmony agreed with a small, relieved smile for her father. "I do need to do a lot of figuring out of things."

"Don't go," Filly said in a low voice, growing more and more upset. "Please."

"Mother..."

"Please," Filly urged again softly. She could feel the heat of encroaching tears and swallowed. "I know you're upset over what happened with Libre, but you'll feel better with time."

"This is going beyond Libre," Harmony told her. "It's related, but it's not the whole thing."

"You need to find yourself," Locket put in, not having quite the same reservations as the men at the table. "And the only way to do that is by going out and trying lots and lots of new things."

Harmony nodded. "Locket's right. That's a good way of putting it."

"I did the same thing after my first heartbreak," Locket reminded her. "Instead of a spirit quest, I joined the church, but it's the same thing really." ~Filly, you should let her go. She needs to find herself.~

~There's nothing to find. She is my daughter and she has a home and life here~ Filly snapped back at the priestess with a sharp look.

Locket was undeterred. ~I don't think anyone would want 'my mother's daughter' to be who they ARE.~

Filly didn't have a good reply for that.

"I promise to not just run off and never come back or anything," Harmony protested. "I'll visit regularly. It's not like it'd be a problem for me."

[Darastrix]

~Locket's got a point,~ Schuldig told Filly, apparently having no qualms with outing his mental eavesdropping. ~And she's taken off on her own before. If we couldn't keep her here then, there's no way we could make her stay now.~

"When were you thinking about leaving?" Schuldig asked, setting his bacon aside. "And just to note, I'm not thrilled, either. But I'm with Locket on this one."

[Kender Bard]

Harmony seemed glad that things were going the way they were. She'd expected her mother to not really understand. It was disappointing, but oh well.

"Soon," she admitted. "Maybe tomorrow or in a couple of days. I don't really have much to do here."

Filly closed her eyes and decided to stop talking about the subject. She just focused on calming herself.

"I mostly want to have time to spend some time with everyone before I go."

"Where will you go?" Locket inquired. Harmony shrugged. "Throw a dart at a map?"

"Sounds good," Harmony agreed with a smile.

[Darastrix]

"Aside from the obvious places," Schuldig couldn't help putting in, "you might want to stay out of the Beastlands for a while. I haven't heard much, but if the price of coffee's any clue, they're still having trouble. And I think they're allied with Humontis, so if Humontis has jumped in, there could be fighting around there, too."

Crawford sighed inwardly and gave Filly a gentle mental caress.