Dissonance in Faerieland|Beastlands

[Darastrix]

Nuo shook his head. "I'm not Kantaflux, but I'm not that Nuo anymore, either. They're both gone, so don't worry about feeling that you should try to like me."

[Kender Bard]

"Then who are you?" Kaylin asked him sharply. "I suppose in a scale of fairness, you've done well by me. You kept me in hell but you saved me from it too, in the end." She dug her fingers into her arms anxiously. "Why?" she asked lightly. "I thought we were friends. Then I thought you hated me. Now I'm not sure."

[Darastrix]

"I thought the faeries were going to be good and kind, and I was happy to share what I thought would be a good thing with you. But when Soahc changed me.... You were right," Nuo said quietly, "and I've told you the same: faeries don't feel. I never hated you; as a faerie, I couldn't hate anyone any more than I could love them. But I never thought of anything other than what I wanted, what would benefit me. It never occurred to me to think otherwise. After I tried to let you go, Atarai did the summoning. What I last said as Kantaflux was true--even if I hadn't had to find you and bring you back, you would have been picked up by one of the full fey being summoned or you would have come back on your own. Even Sirius was drawn to Court, and he was dead set against serving anyone else again. There wasn't anything Kantaflux could have done to prevent it, and unless it would have had a positive effect on his standing or helped him in some way, he would never have thought of it, even though he was one of the fey who disagreed with Atarai's binding of all feylings, willing or not. That's what the dissent was about."

[Kender Bard]

Some of the fire went out of Kaylin and she lowered her eyes. "I see," she said softly. She toyed with the end of her hair nervously, beginning a loose braid, fingers moving rapidly. "And... Soahc changed you back. And you came to free me and Sirius..." She let out a long, slow sigh. "It was easier to just blindly hate you," she murmured. "At least then I had someone to blame. But it looks like we were both, in a way, tricked. I wanted to belong to the faeries too, Nuo."

[Darastrix]

You belonged to them, all right, he thought darkly. Everyone had.

"I thought they would be better than humans," Nuo murmured. "But they don't care and humans...." He shook his head. "They're both just as bad in different ways."

[Kender Bard]

"Not all humans are bad, Nuo," Kaylin countered quietly. "And not all faeries either. Look at Maple and Blueberry." She pressed her lips together in a thin line as she wrestled with a thought within herself. She gave a small nod. "I forgive you, for what there is to forgive. And I hope that you'll do the same. You and I might not be the same people anymore but I don't want to hate you. I don't even want to dislike you."

Because what would she have then? Herself, her half-mad faerie, and a home she wasn't even certain she could really go back to.

[Darastrix]

"I don't know what I want," Nuo said. "I don't know what I can want now." After what he'd gotten Kaylin into, what did he deserve?

[Kender Bard]

"Then I pray you figure it out for the best," Kaylin answered. She didn't want to get too far behind Sirius. Knowing the other man, he wouldn't be stopping or slowing down for them. She walked off in the direction he set out on, glancing back now and then towards Nuo.

[Darastrix]

Nuo trailed after, arms wrapped around himself in a futile attempt to shield himself from the cold. He didn't look at Kaylin any more than he absolutely had to, and every so often reached up to wipe at his face. He didn't know what he would do once they reached Acoia. He couldn't stay there. He wasn't even Efilian, and if there was no comfort from Soahc because he wasn't of his faith, there would be no comfort from any Force.

Maybe once they reached the Great River, he'd just head north instead of crossing to Acoia. He couldn't stop in Ilyamen--he would never live in Ilyamen again--but weren't the Minds somewhere past that? They fey wouldn't come there.... But there would be so many people. Did they even have woods up there?

The only way I'll be away from fey is if I'm among humans. The only places with unspoiled woodlands are away from humans and the fey can be found there. Nuo shivered and choked back a sob. There was nowhere he could go.