Mischief Makers|Sensatiamens, Sensatia
May 21, 2010 5:08:16 GMT -5
Post by Northen Light36 on May 21, 2010 5:08:16 GMT -5
"I'll get you some painkillers," Artica remarked, picking up a bottle of lavender oil from a table and passing it to Thelon. "In the meantime, rub that in and we'll wash it off before you go home to Tres." Quickly and calmly Artica got out her medic kit and put some healing water and some willow bark in a kettle and set it over the fire to boil into tea.
"As for Flame, well, I can't promise my advice will work, but I raised Tavia from the time she was Amneris' age and I know what worked for me then," she continues. "For a starting point, it does no good to lose your tempter and shout back at an angry little girl. It just adds fuel to the fire, so to speak. In a situation like you just had, I strongly suggest that in future you talk to Flame face-to-face and say firmly but gently that you don't like her being rude, that it upsets you and so you are not going to talk to her until she's ready to talk calmly about what's wrong."
Artica looks at Thelon and adds, "And there is something wrong. Children don't lash out like that unless something is bothering them - however minor it might seem to us adults. When Flame's had time to calm down, half a candlemark is probably long enough, go to her and explain to her what she did wrong and how it made you feel, then ask for an apology. If you don't get one, walk away and leave her for another half candlemark. When you do get an apology - and you will since Flame loves you and she doesn't truly mean to upset you - give her a hug and ask her to talk to you about what's wrong. Once that's out in the open, you can discuss both how to fix Flame's problem AND talk about what she needs to do to make up for how she behaved - give her a chance to suggest something as a punishment and, unless you really feel it's not enough, accept that as her punishment."
"As for Flame, well, I can't promise my advice will work, but I raised Tavia from the time she was Amneris' age and I know what worked for me then," she continues. "For a starting point, it does no good to lose your tempter and shout back at an angry little girl. It just adds fuel to the fire, so to speak. In a situation like you just had, I strongly suggest that in future you talk to Flame face-to-face and say firmly but gently that you don't like her being rude, that it upsets you and so you are not going to talk to her until she's ready to talk calmly about what's wrong."
Artica looks at Thelon and adds, "And there is something wrong. Children don't lash out like that unless something is bothering them - however minor it might seem to us adults. When Flame's had time to calm down, half a candlemark is probably long enough, go to her and explain to her what she did wrong and how it made you feel, then ask for an apology. If you don't get one, walk away and leave her for another half candlemark. When you do get an apology - and you will since Flame loves you and she doesn't truly mean to upset you - give her a hug and ask her to talk to you about what's wrong. Once that's out in the open, you can discuss both how to fix Flame's problem AND talk about what she needs to do to make up for how she behaved - give her a chance to suggest something as a punishment and, unless you really feel it's not enough, accept that as her punishment."