BFFs?|Malagard, Khelek

[Kender Bard]

Filly stepped out of her workroom after the last person she saw was done. If anyone else came, the other healers were on duty. She walked to her and Schuldig's room briefly, long enough to stand in front of the mirror. She sighed and carefully started to preen her wings and brush her hair. Finished with that, she thought of what else to do until she decided that simply stalling wasn't going to do a damn thing.

She debated whether she should just go to Crawford or not. Deciding barging in on something while he was occupied wouldn't precisely be a good way to begin things, so she touched her sign and reached out--tentatively--to nudge against Crawford's mind. ~Are you busy?~ she asked him quietly.

[Darastrix]

Filly....

Crawford carefully kept the relief he felt at her speaking to him behind his shields. The more he'd thought on things and the longer it took, the harder the idea of approaching Filly himself had become.

~I--no, I'm not busy.~

[Kender Bard]

Filly swallowed and had to pause a moment to reinforce her own shields. Sometimes she was grateful that she wasn't an empath specialist. If she were, she might have more trouble not letting her emotions bleed through her telepathy, and she was already unsure enough about his reactions to things without baring her heart to him.

~I want to speak with you~ she told him. ~Please? I'll meet you anywhere you like.~

[Darastrix]

~I'm in my room,~ Crawford sent. ~You can come here.~

He hoped it would go well. If she was angry or upset about what had happened, would she even bother talking? He wasn't sure. But the "Please?" was hopeful and she was giving him choice of meeting place. Maybe things were okay? Maybe?

[Kender Bard]

Filly brushed her sign and teleported straight to his room. "Crawford," she greeted, keeping her tone light. Her heart pounded in her chest. Please, please don't push me away... Let this work out.

She decided to get straight to the heart of the matter. "Are you angry with me?" she asked. They'd avoided each other for so much longer than she'd wanted. Each day that had passed when she'd normally have spent it in his company, Filly had found her heart breaking a little more under the fear that she'd irreparably damaged a friendship she treasured dearly. Telling herself that she hadn't been able to control what had happened did little to alleviate the pang of loneliness on those days.

[Darastrix]

Crawford looked startled, both at her sudden appearance and her question. "What? No, I'm not angry," he said, getting to his feet. "I've just been thinking." A lot. Probably too much.

[Kender Bard]

Well. That was somewhat of a relief. Then she considered the other implication of why he'd avoided her and her relief vanished. "For a long time," Filly said. She felt a lump form in her throat. "Crawford... if... you've decided you don't wish to continue our friendship, then I would rather you simply told me than let me wonder and hope that there's something here for us. If you do, then I wish you would tell me that too instead of leaving me to agonize that I did something terrible!"

She hadn't meant to raise her voice towards the end. She grimaced and bit her lip.

[Darastrix]

Crawford took a step back at her vehemence. He hadn't realised...and he was woefully unprepared for this. He'd wanted the chance to think about what to say, to weigh his words.

"I do," he said. "I just don't want it to be different."

[Kender Bard]

"It doesn't have to be," Filly insisted, stepping forward when he stepped back. She didn't shout now, but she did plead. "Brad... If you didn't like what happened, then I'm prepared to accept that. I don't feel the same--regardless of what caused it, I thoroughly enjoyed that night, would happily do it again, even. But it's not worth losing our friendship over. If you told me to, I would pretend that nothing happened. Never bring it up again, never react as though we've held each other close. Just.... don't leave me lonely again. I couldn't bear it, not in good grace."

She drew her wings up tight against her back, her posture tense. "The only thing that has changed, as far as I'm concerned, is that there's new possibilities for us that there weren't before. But just because the doors are there, doesn't mean we have to go through them."

[Darastrix]

"I don't know that I can pretend it didn't happen," Crawford said. "Because it did, and I remember it, and I--" He stopped and shook his head.

[Kender Bard]

"What?" Filly pushed. She came closer to him. "Don't wall me off, Crawford. Did you hate it?" Her feathers fluffed up in agitation.

[Darastrix]

Crawford cast an almost pleading look at the mirror standing near his wardrobe, as if it could somehow help him.

"I didn't hate it," he muttered, still not looking at her. "I liked it. But you were still drugged. Even if you did something that you were willing to do anyway, you were not thinking clearly. And there are some things you did--and I don't mean physically--that I am...concerned may have been due to whatever the drug was, and not because of how you felt."

He hadn't mentioned that to Schuldig, but then, they'd spoken on the matter early on, before Crawford had had a chance to think and overthink everything.

[Kender Bard]

Oh.

"So, is that it?" she sighed. She lowered her shields and released her tight hold on her empathy, pressed it up against his shields gently but insistently. "That's not true. What I feel for you had nothing to do with the drugs. I love you, Brad; not like I love Schuldig, but a unique and very sincere kind regardless. If you don't believe me, then lower your shields and I'll let you feel my heart."

[Darastrix]

Crawford hesitated for a moment, and then began to slowly lower his rigid mental shields. He didn't like the vulnerability of opening his mind, but another part of him wanted to feel her again so much it was almost painful, and reached out to her, wanting to put an end to the lonliness he had only himself to blame for. And he trusted Filly, at least, trusted her to not try to hurt him.

[Kender Bard]

Filly's empathy rushed past his shields, like water. Intense affection--deeper than mere friendship but still lighter than her love for Schuldig--washed over him. Her mental touch was soft; she was afraid of scaring him away. Her emotions were a little tainted by the frustration and concern she felt for him, and there was an undertone of sexuality that she simply couldn't help.

As her mind reached to his, she moved closer until she was able to try and take his hands into her own. "See?" she said quietly.