The Hungry Clans Gather|Naurorod

[Kender Bard]

"Don't say that," Arcan murmured. He sounded genuinely... frightened. "You're always, always going to be the clever one, Tev. I just..." He started to pace a bit and scrubbed at his face with his palms. For a long while he remained silent as he just walked about, occasionally pausing to snort or heave a sigh, as though frustrated with his internal monologue. Finally he sat down and tilted his head up, just gazing at the sky.

"Tevran, do you think I'm sick in the head like Mom does?" he asked very softly.

[tuo]

Tevran frowned at his brother's question before carefully answering. "If she truely believed something like that, I'm not sure she would have left you alone in my care alone. In fact, I had thought that between us I was the one who was sick in the head if either of us."

[Kender Bard]

"You were for a while," Arcan admitted with a little smile. "When that bastard got a hold of you. But sometimes I think I am. I feel like... there's me, and then there's someone else who is who I could have been if I wasn't me. I know that doesn't make much sense..." He sighed heavily again. "I never really thought about my... rages very much before, you know. They've always been apart of me. But sometimes, after a big fight or a huge hunt, before I sleep, I'm all tired out but I feel very light. Like a feather. And my mind feels clear. Then I really think. Then the next day..."

He dropped his hand into his lap with a dull thud before clenching his fingers into a loose fist. "Have I ever told you what it's like? The rages?"

[tuo]

"I don't think so." Tevran answered as he moved to sit next to Arcan. "I think I can imagine..a little bit anyways from what I've seen though..at least when I think of Nissar too much."

[Kender Bard]

Arcan leaned against Tevran a little. "You've been hurt pretty bad in battle before. I know, I was usually there." He smiled weakly at that. "And when you do, your mind just sort of focuses only on the most immediate things. Pain. Anger. Stopping the hurt. Getting revenge. That sort of thing. Well, that's exactly what the raging is. Only you don't need to be badly hurt to trigger it. It's why I sometimes hurt my friends... and family... if they're in the way. I don't even see people." He closed his eyes and tilted his head back all the way. "I think I'm... tired of it. But I also don't think it'll ever go away because not once have I ever been able to stop it. So I'm worried I'm going to do something stupid with all these people because I can't think."

He lifted his head again and stared at his brother. "If that happens, can you take over?"

[tuo]

Tevran was silent for a moment in thought. If that were to happen, it's unlikely he would be able to claim leadership then, assuming the majority of the clans joining them wouldn't just leave the beastlands altogether. But, Arcan was his brother and he needed support and some faith. "I believe you can keep that from happening, but if it does happen, I will do everything I can to continue to lead in your place."

[Kender Bard]

Arcan let out a small sigh of relief and slung an arm around Tevran, hugging him close. He could feel his throat closing up on emotion. "Thank you," he murmured, turning his head so his forehead resting against Tevran. "And Tev... I know... that it's not fair that Mom asked you to take care of me. Like I was a cripple or a child. It's not fair... you could be out doing so much more. I won't ever hold it against you if you decide you want to do that."

[tuo]

"Arcan.." Tevran returned the hug. "You're my brother and you saved me from Morilanta..even if I wanted to go somewhere else, which I don't, mom wanted you to look out for me as well as me looking out for you."

[Kender Bard]

"You don't need looking after," Arcan protested. "You're my older brother; you're faster, smarter, str-... well maybe not stronger." His mouth curled up in a brief, impish smile but faded quickly. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He blinked rapidly at the hotness that flooded his eyes. "I don't know if I would ever be happy again. When Nissar had you... it was the most awful time in my life, ever. I won't ask you to never go, but... try to never go?"

[tuo]

"I promise brother. I won't leave you alone again." He breathed in deeply at the emotions rising up but managed to remain some measure of calm. "Even if you tried to get rid of me I'd stay."