Hug plz? (Widor)

[Kender Bard]

Shyamal appeared in the Widor foyer, and lowered his hand from his sign. ~I'm here~ he announced to Zira, looking around. He felt a little bad just leaving like that, but he didn't want to go off with the other men, nor back to his room, and wandering alone on the palace grounds might have turned his thoughts down dark paths. Well, darker. He really just needed someone he could speak with frankly, someone relatively unbiased and that he felt he could trust. So, naturally, Zira had sprung to mind.

[Darastrix]

Zira entered the foyer from an adjacent drawing room, Dream trotting beside him. He smiled at Shyamal and said, "Dillon should have our drinks ready soon. Where would you like to take it? Zack's not here right now, so the music room is empty, then there's the drawing room, my study, or we could sit outside if the chill doesn't bother you."

[Kender Bard]

While he didn't mind the chill, he didn't want to force his host out into the brisk air. "Whichever has the nicest view," Shyamal requested. "Or else your study, if you're not opposed. Thank you again for having me here on such short notice."

[Darastrix]

"It's no trouble. You sounded as though you could use an escape, if you don't mind my saying," Zira told him. As he led the way to the upstairs study, he commented, "In the spring and summer, I prefer the rear grounds, but the flowers are gone now. The view from the front of the house is quite lovely, though. Especially when the moon is out."

"Here we are," Zira said, letting them in. His study wasn't quite as expansive as Sunray's, but there was still an abundance of books. It was a fairly large room and nearly every bit of wall that didn't hold a door or window was covered with a bookshelf. He settled into a large, comfortable chair near the fireplace (after first removing a book from the seat) and gestured for Shyamal to take the other.

[Kender Bard]

Shyamal sank gratefully into the offered seat and just closed his eyes, trying to will his body to unwind and relax. It took some doing but he slowly felt more at ease. "You were right on that comment of my needing an escape," Shyamal replied. "I only barely met the others and already I come away from the first meeting feeling less certain than ever." He let his head loll slightly to the side, eyes shut tighter. "I feel everyone expects me fully to fail. And the way they phrase things, I am starting to suspect it as well."

[Darastrix]

"If that were the case, I doubt they would even be here at all," Zira murmured, guessing that at least part of the new party had arrived in Anarlina. "No ruler leaves his land just to personally inform someone else that they expect him to fail. That would be a huge waste of time and resources to say what their silence would put most eloquently."

[Kender Bard]

"That's true," Shyamal murmured, but in the "I'm-still-not-convinced" tone sulky teenagers tended to use. "There's a lot of things stacked against me though. A lot of things. And nobody seems to trust what I have to say. The one said I was like a bad seer, cause I know things about the future and not about the present. I don't think my father and Bastion will have changed much, but..." He waved a hand, dismissively. "I feel so... so... superfluous. It's like I can't help. I feel like Fausta!" His voice had raised and the last line was almost shouted. He flinched at his own volume and slid lower in the seat, blinking rapidly, and murmured much quieter, "Young. Little. Ignorant."

[Darastrix]

Zira rose at the near-shout, startled, his wings flexing behind him. Shyamal was young, he thought. Too young to be thought of as a man, but too old to be a child. He thought of himself at that uncertain age and winced inwardly. He didn't know what he would have done without Zack during those years.

"Shyamal," he said, his voice quiet as he held a hand out to him. "Come here."

[Kender Bard]

Shyamal bit his lip, as though uncertain, but there was trust in his eyes as he rose and slowly took Zira's hand, though he began to flush and feel awkward, wondering what Zira had in mind. "Yes?"

[Darastrix]

Zira drew Shyamal close to him, clasping the boy's hand loosely should he feel the need to pull away. "I know you're not used to much touching," he murmured as he tried to put his arms around him. "I actually wasn't, either, until I was near Fausta's age. But there were so many times I needed it, and you seem like you do, too."

[Kender Bard]

Shyamal's reaction was better than the first time he'd been 'touched' in a friendly manner and he actually smiled at Zira. "Yeah," he agreed. "I do. I didn't know how comforting another person's touch could be until I came here. I've hugged Altra before... and it was strange but felt terribly good." He blinked rapidly again and his eyes shimmered from the threat of tears. "I've never had a real friend before, besides Altra." And perhaps Ann, though she was so far away and their meeting had been so brief. "May I call you a friend?"

[Darastrix]

Zira smiled back at Shyamal and nodded. "I'd be happy to be counted as your friend," he said as he rubbed his hand in gentle circles across the boy's back.

~And Shyamal, if you need to cry, go ahead. You might feel better afterward, and there's no shame in it.~ Zira knew there was little chance of his being overheard in his study, but Shyamal didn't, and he didn't want him to worry that a passing servant might hear.

[Kender Bard]

~No, Negri men don't cry~ he answered quietly. And though the thought was a little tempting, he was too used to holding it back and found it easier than letting go. "Then as my friend, I think I can tell you the one thing that's bothering me most." He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly before saying, "I-I don't want to kill my father." His eyes darted to the door out of habit. ~I... love my father. Or at least, I want dearly to. He's done so many terrible things.~ Shyamal swallowed hard at that. ~But he and Fausta are the only family I have. What if I can't go through with it and ruin everything when I finally face him again?~

[Darastrix]

An expression of pain flickered across Zira's features as he was reminded of his own father, and then felt guilty for the comparison, automatic though it may have been. His father wasn't an insane, cruel tyrant. He just didn't lo-- No, best to not start thinking along those lines at the moment.

~I don't have an answer for that,~ Zira said. ~I wish I did, but it's not an easy task you've set for yourself. All I can really offer is that...if he is insane, losing his mind, death could be a kindness to him as well.~

[Kender Bard]

Shyamal nodded - after all, those were the words he had used to console himself of the thought in the first place. ~Do you think if I can just... capture him, though, I might be able to find a way to help him get better?~

Even he knew he was grasping there. "Ah, he's a three-sign Mind, what am I saying? It's going to end one way." He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose slightly, wincing as he felt a headache growing. "You know, I should just stop thinking about it, perhaps. Stupid 'Mastermind'. He says things that make you feel like you're nothing, but with enough truth that you cannot deny the claim."