To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

[Darastrix]

Schuldig was finally back in Khelek, which was...kind of good. It was his home, he supposed, and being back meant the issue with Crawford was finally manageable, if not completely over. The four of them felt more like a cohesive unit than they had in ages and the perks of Sensatia had left them all relaxed and refreshed to come home and get back to work.

Well, work could come later. Currently, the telepath was burrowed under his warm blankets and engaged in one of his favourite activities: sleeping. He was completely relaxed under the heavy covers. Really heavy, actually. It felt almost as if someone was draped over him...

Schuldig opened an eye and glanced over his shoulder, meeting the amber gaze of one Brad Crawford.

Wait, what?

Schuldig shrugged mentally and grinned. Must be dreaming. He didn't really look at Crawford in quite that sort of light. Not that the man wasn't attractive, of course. And he could easily work out why he might be having such a dream, but he wasn't going to worry about that at the moment. Especially not when Crawford was...yeah. May as well make the most of it.

[Kender Bard]

Efil's voice purred through Schuldig's mind softly, a warm, light sound that rang with the undertones of merriment.

Am I interrupting? I can always come back.

She didn't manifest herself in his dream yet, but her presence was there.

[Darastrix]

Schuldig blinked in confusion, wondering if this was just his mind taking another turn in the dreamscape. Either way, it was most definitely not unwelcome.

"No," he said, sitting up, the dream of Brad all but forgotten. "Don't go."

[Kender Bard]

Efil decided to manifest then, looking much the same as she did when she had left him last. She sat down on the edge of his bed, feathers ruffling, and smiled with sweetness and a touch of melancholy. "Hello my beloved," she greeted him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "I've missed you. You're looking well for the rest you had in Sensatia."

[Darastrix]

Schuldig closed his eyes and leaned into the caress, covering her hand with his own. "I've missed you, too," he murmured. If this was a dream, he did not want to wake up anytime soon.

[Kender Bard]

She moved closer to him, tried to draw him into her arms and kissed him lightly. "I've come to inform you of something I neglected to when I was last with you. Amidst everything that happened in the summer, well." She blushed and smiled sheepishly. "I hope you won't blame me. And afterwards I promise to linger for the rest of the night." Her smile dimmed but she held him closer. "There are things I long to speak with you about. And I wish simply to linger at your side."

"Let's get the tediousness of our 'official' talk out of the way though. There is a way for you to pass on the mantle of White Swan to a willing recipient should you ever decide you no longer want to fulfill that role."

[Darastrix]

Schuldig looked surprised at that revelation, then chuckled ruefully, resting his head on her shoulder. "I can't believe I never thought to ask about that. If the Black Swan in Morilanta could offer his position to me, it makes sense that I should be able to do the same thing."

[Kender Bard]

"And of course it's far less brutal," Efil agreed, nuzzling her cheek against his hair. She took his hand and held it up so the palm faced outward. "Simply touch the other, palm to palm-" she put hers against his. "-and say 'I pass on the mantle of White Swan to you, and the duty therein.' And then the recipient will say, 'I accept this role and all that entails it.' And it will be done."

She twined her fingers with his. "No need to stab anyone, heh heh. Now, on to more pressing concerns. You seem to be fairing well with our daughter. She loves you already. Each day that love grows."

[Darastrix]

"I wasn't sure that I would be able to take care of her," Schuldig admitted. "I knew I could give her anything...tangible that she'd want or need. I'm in a good position for that. The rest, I wasn't as sure of. I Yeah, I helped take care of Nagi, but he came from a bad situation. Harmony remembers a good life. And at first, I agreed partly because she's your daughter. If you couldn't stay, I could still have something. But now...."

He pushed a hand back through his hair. "She's not just something I have to cling to as a reminder. She's not just your daughter. She's my kid, too. And I do...love her," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

[Kender Bard]

Efil let her joy be known, fairly radiating her happiness. "Schu," she murmured and hugged him tightly. "You have no idea how happy that makes me. And no doubt, she perceives it as well. That is why she adores you and will continue to do so. I see so much of you in her; it brings me unspeakable happiness to know she is making a good life with you, and terrible sorrow that I can't be there too."

She shut her eyes and sighed deeply. A part of her wanted to tell Schuldig about the troubles with Taed concerning their daughter but...

...No, there are some things no mortal should have to worry about. She would keep Harmony safe. Taed would be made to understand.

She curled a little of his hair between the fingers of her free hand. "I would give the heavens to be with you as we once were. Maybe that's why Etaf does not want me to return to your side. It does nothing to lessen the ache though." She glanced at him and couldn't help but ask, "If I could, would you have me with you? Or would passion cool?"

[Darastrix]

If Efil had been mortal at that moment, Schuldig would have been tempted to lie to her. Maybe a little pain now, and then she could move on more easily. After everything, he didn't want Efil to hurt for him. Imagine that. But Schuldig hardly believed that he could manage to lie to a Force, and besides, there was something he wanted to say that he hadn't yet.

"Efil," he began, "I know I'm inconsistent. I can go from hot to cold and back within the span of a conversation. But the moods I have that pass so quickly appear quickly to begin with and I usually don't bother hiding them or fighting them. But this isn't like that. Because this came on gradually. And I have fought, and denied, and tried to repress, and it still hasn't changed the fact. And after seeing what Brad did to himself, I don't really want to. Because the fact is.... The fact is I-I love you. Even though I know that this is all I might get in years, I still do."

Schuldig swallowed and looked down at his lap. "So, yes. I would have you with me. And if passion won't cool with me knowing I never will, and with me having tried to push it aside, I can't see that it would if you could stay here."

[Kender Bard]

Tears welled in Efil's eyes but she smiled at him and squeezed him gently in her arms. "I love you too. Schuldig, this isn't fair to you or to me," she murmured. "I won't rest until we can be together, somehow. I would defy the heavens to fulfill that; but if I can, I'd rather not. Etaf is still busy, focused on upholding the spheres of influence for my still-mortal siblings. But when they have re-ascended I will try to reason with her. Somehow, someway, I will fight to come back to you. That's a promise."

She sighed deeply. "And now my love, I think we can rest. This is your dream after all." She gave him a quirky smirk. "And I'm not going anywhere until you wake up."

[Darastrix]

"Nobody had better come knocking at my door," Schuldig muttered, toying lightly with Efil's feathers. "I want to sleep in." White Swan or not, he would be sorely tempted to inflict bodily (or mental) harm on anyone who disturbed him now.

"Buuuut," he added looking at Efil slyly, "do you just want to rest here, or...." Schuldig brushed her hair away from her neck and kissed it lightly.

[Kender Bard]

Efil closed her eyes, her smile growing languid as she sighed softly. "I think that it's a great blessing we do not grow tired in our dreams," she murmured and turned to pin him down.

---

Somehow she knew that he would be waking soon and stirred against him. "It is time to part again," she whispered next to his ear. "But I will see you again as soon as I can. Perhaps in dream, or Efilive. Etaf willing, sooner than that." She kissed his cheek. "I left a small gift next to your bedside."

[Darastrix]

Schuldig said nothing, instead just putting his arms around her and holding on tightly. He could feel himself stirring to consciousness, and trying to think of words would only wake him more quickly. Finally, the dream began to dissolve and he kissed her quickly.

'I love you....'

He stared several moments into the darkness behind his closed eyes, wishing for a return to sleep, but knowing it wasn't going to happen. He sighed and reluctantly opened his eyes, blinking a bit in the dim light before raising up slightly and looking to the table at his bedside.